Tony Abbott has promised an improved performance from his team after losing the first test in Canberra.
Hopes were high for the Coalition outfit after its resounding victory over Labor earlier in the year. Since that drubbing, Labor had sacked its coach, been riven by leadership tensions, struggled with selection headaches and failed to field a convincing first eleven.
Not surprisingly, most commentators had written off Labor as being any chance of threatening the Coalition when the two sides met again. But, to the surprise of all, the Coalition was troubled by Labor’s bounce and spin on a Canberra pitch that traditionally favours newly elected governments.
The Coalition’s final innings scorecard was ugly reading…
Tony Abbott (c) – Opened aggressively but was wrong footed when he mistimed a shot at Indonesia – out for 19
Scott Morrison – May or may not have played at one he shouldn’t have (details withheld for operational reasons) – (not) out for ?
Greg Hunt – Took hours to score then succumbed to a threat that he denied existed and that he asserted was a Greens conspiracy – out for 5
Malcolm Turnbull – May have been caught out (still waiting for the video replay to load) – out for 7
Joe Hockey – Eleventy not out
Bronwyn Bishop – Hung in there stolidly despite a barrage of sledging from both sides – 146 (or that could be her age?)
Julie Bishop (vc) – Stared down the fast ones, the slow ones (and everything else for that matter) before unfortunately staring down a pigeon and being clean bowled – out for 13
Barnaby Joyce – an entertaining but erratic knock that confirmed his leadership potential – out for 14
Christopher Pyne – Run out (possibly deliberately by his team mates) – out for 0
Ian Macfarlane – An industrious knock by the Minister for Industry (get it?) – out for 17
Bruce Billson – A promising 19 year old spinner brought into the side at the last minute. He might also be Minister for Small Business – out for 7
12th man: Warren Truss (again)
Despite the defeat, Tony Abbott assured Coalition supporters that his team has learnt from Labor’s mistakes and will bounce back in the New Year.