ALP leadership rumours have intensified after a Canberra family’s eerie encounter with an alien entity describing himself as the Leader of the Opposition.
“It was freaky,” said mother of three Petra Mangalori.
“We were driving past Parliament House late at night and there were these bright lights near the road.”
“For some reason I can’t explain, our car stopped.”
“Suddenly right next to us was an odd-looking humanoid creature being filmed by a TV crew.”
“I asked the TV people what was going on and they said they’d made contact with the Leader of the Opposition.”
Opposition Leader “moved his lips”
Ms Mangalori said she and her family were drawn by some irresistible force to get out of their car and watch the filming.
“I’d never seen this Leader of the Opposition before,” said Ms Mangalori, “and I watch TV all the time.”
“Everybody was crowded there, waiting for this creature to say something.”
“Somebody asked him about the economic crisis. He said nothing.”
“Then someone asked him about asylum seekers. He just wriggled in the light and looked uncomfortable.”
“And so I asked, Who are you and what do you want?”
“I was so scared. This thing turned towards me and wrinkled his enormous forehead.”
“Then he moved his lips awkwardly and said, I’m Bill Shorten.”
“A lot of pleasant sounding noises then came out of his mouth and, while he spoke, I felt at complete peace.”
“But it’s strange. After he disappeared, I couldn’t remember a single thing he said.”
“And even stranger, I’ve watched the news for days but there hasn’t been anything about this Bill Shorten at all.”
“It’s like there’s some sort of cover-up or conspiracy going on.”
Opposition Leader sighting a fantasy
Despite Ms Managalori’s eyewitness account, those in authority have dismissed her story as a fantasy.
Prime Minister Tony Abbott laughed at the suggestion that there is a Leader of the Opposition in Canberra.
“There hasn’t been a Leader of the Opposition since me,” said Mr Abbott. “Would I be acting like I do if there was?”
The Labor Party has also downplayed talk that they are harbouring an Opposition Leader in their midst.
“After the problems with Rudd and Gillard, the party decided to get rid of a leader,” said a Labor heavyweight.
Although ALP leadership rumours persist, the mysterious Bill Shorten is now nowhere to be found.
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