ABC election analyst Antony Green is back for another year to dissect the results of the Eurovision 2015 vote. And, just like last time, Antony likes what he sees.
It’s been a fantastic month for us psephologists.
First the British election delivered a knee-quivering (and somewhat unexpected) come from behind thrust from the Conservatives.
Then came the thrilling same-sex marriage referendum in Ireland.
And, now for the vinegar stroke, we’ve had the Eurovision Song Contest, this year held in the home of sausage, Vienna.
It was a fabulous week for all concerned and you didn’t need a computer to tell you that Sweden’s Måns Zelmerlöw and his song Heroes would come out on top.
Good looks, a stirring Avicii-esque tune and computer effects that we at the ABC can only fantasise about. It was always a case of how much Sweden would win by.
As it turned out, Sweden amassed an impressive 365 points. This was 62 more than second-placed Polina Gagarina and Russia’s not at all cynical paean to world peace, A Million Voices. (If the Liberal Party don’t steal this song for the next election, they’re not trying hard enough.)
Australia’s Guy Sebastian finished a very respectable fifth, with 196 points.
Hopes had been high that Guy could win Eurovision 2015, especially after Tony Abbott threatened to resign if he did. Alas, Guy didn’t get enough of the big ones on the night – the douze points, that is. (Austria and Sweden were the exception.)
But, did Australia’s controversial involvement in Eurovision 2015 materially affect the result, I hear you all ask?
After crunching the figures, I can tell you this.
No, it didn’t.
Let’s be clear. Australia’s involvement didn’t affect the top four placings.
But it did reduce the United Kingdom’s score by three points.
Considering the UK only got five points (or 2.55% of the Australian total – ouch!) Australia’s involvement led to a 37.5% reduction in the overall British vote.
Which (if you saw the UK song, Still In Love With You) is only a good thing.
But enough of the number crunching.
What acts did I enjoy the most performing in Vienna? (Musically, of course!)
Well, it’s no secret I have a huge Guy crush. Not only was Guy Sebastian’s young Orson Welles look irresistible – he even wore a tie! – his performance of Tonight Again was amaaaazing.
I also loved all the duets. A special mention in particular goes to Norway’s A Monster Like Me. When the headstrong man uttered those words to the redhead, I couldn’t help but think of Kevin Rudd and Julia Gillard.
But enough of me. I need a pina colada.
See you in Sweden next year, people!
The Tunnel are satire writers from Australia. For more of our stories, click HERE.
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