Coalition to boost Australian dollar through dodecimalisation

Opposition Treasury spokesman Joe Hockey has announced that a Coalition government will boost the value of the falling Australian dollar by “dodecimialising” the nation’s currency.

Under the Coalition’s plan, there will be 120 cents in an Australian dollar with effect from 1 January 2014.

“The fact that the Gillard government still adheres to a 1960s theory like decimal currency shows how out of touch it has become,” said Mr Hockey.

“With dodecimalisation, an Aussie dollar that is worth 92 US cents today will become worth 110 US cents. In addition, all Australians will immediately become 20% richer.”

Mr Hockey said that the move from a base of 10 to a base of 12 would also bring the Australian dollar in line with the months of the year, the zodiac, the number of Jesus’s apostles and the size of a cricket squad.

Treasurer Wayne Swan expressed surprise at the move given that it appeared to be an announcement of Coalition policy.