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Ban the Bikini!

8
  • by The Tunnel
  • — 24 Sep, 2014

With Australia now on high terror alert, some politicians have called for a ban on women wearing bikinis in public.

Leading the campaign to ban the bikini is Coalition Senator Cory Bernardi.

Senator Bernardi – who has long highlighted the link between bikinis and alcohol fuelled violence – says he finds the sight of young Australian women in bikinis “morally abhorrent” and “utterly terrifying”.

“These people are supposedly wearing bikinis for cultural reasons. But most decent thinking people regard bikinis as not right and totally unAustralian.”

Senator Bernardi has also questioned why women in bikinis would leave their bodies mostly – but not totally – uncovered.

“What are they hiding?” he asked.

Jacqui Lambie joins call to ban the bikini

Palmer United Party Senator Jacqui Lambie has added her voice to the debate, sharing images on her Facebook page of bikini-clad women firing machine guns.

ban the bikini not burqa

“I agree whole-heartedly with Senator Cory Bernardi’s comments – and call for an immediate and complete ban on the wearing of bikinis in public,” said Senator Lambie.

“The bikinis are obviously designed by men who have an obsessive need to have extreme control and power over women.”

“As groups like Bikini Kill show, disciples of bikinis pose a serious threat to society that cannot be ignored.”


The Tunnel are satire writers from Australia. For more of our stories, click HERE.

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Tags: Cory BernardiFacebookfashionJacqui Lambieterrorism

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8 Comments

  1. Lee-Anne says:
    September 24, 2014 at 6:27 pm

    What can I say? Hilair?! ROFL?! Tunnel-brilliance!!

  2. hugzillablog says:
    September 25, 2014 at 9:07 pm

    FINALLY, a ban I can get behind. Can we also have those ass-cheek revealing short-shorts banned too?

  3. hugzillablog says:
    September 25, 2014 at 9:08 pm

    Bikini Kill 4EVA!!

  4. Deborah says:
    September 26, 2014 at 9:51 am

    Love it! PS. That pic reminds me of the Austin Powers movie where there women had machine guns in their boobs!

  5. Ed @ The Tunnel says:
    September 26, 2014 at 2:28 pm

    Yes, there is a bit of a fembot thing going on. I’m aware some people disliked the picture immensely so it’s nice to hear some kind words!

  6. Ed @ The Tunnel says:
    September 26, 2014 at 2:31 pm

    New Radio!!!

  7. This Charming Mum says:
    October 7, 2014 at 11:36 pm

    Where do you source this Lego?? She looks like Lara Croft – though I don’t think Lara does bikinis does she? No doubt she’s part of the movement.

  8. Ed @ The Tunnel says:
    October 8, 2014 at 8:20 am

    I actually have a Lego bikini minifig but couldn’t find it. So I had to get imaginative with some flowers. And sure enough I found the bikini minifig under a cupboard next day. Don’t my kids realise the Lego is needed for a higher satirical cause?

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