Minister for Agriculture Barnaby Joyce has angrily denied claims he misused taxpayer funds to attend a wedding with Senator George Brandis.
“This was clearly a work function. It was something I didn’t want to go to. I don’t like either the bride or the groom – and to suggest that going to an event with George Brandis is anything other than a chore is frankly offensive.”
Rather than refunding money to the Commonwealth, Mr Joyce said that he was considering claiming compensation for “the date from hell”.
Mr Joyce said that the canapés were below par, the bar tab ran out early and that he had to share a table with Brandis all night.
“The rumours that George ‘cut a rug’ on the dance floor aren’t entirely incorrect,” said Mr Joyce, “but apart from a briefly amusing toupee incident, spending time with this man is incredibly hard work.”
Mr Joyce denied that this incident had any similarities with Craig Thomson or Peter Slipper.
“Any comparisons are ridiculous. Hanging out with Thommo is fun. He knows all the best nightspots and is very generous. Slippery Pete makes great dips and his mussels are to die for. Brandis on the other hand – a total bore.”