Bill Shorten has reacted emotionally to claims by News Limited that he is a prisoner of the trade union movement.
“That’s nonsense,” said the Federal Opposition Leader.
“As you can see, I’m walking around like a free man, saying the things that need to be said.”
When asked why the things that need to be said are the same things trade unions are saying, Mr Shorten held back tears.
“I love my wife and children and would do anything to protect them.”
“Protect them from the Abbott government, I mean.”
“I don’t mean protect them from the trade union movement, who are obviously looking after my family very well.”
“Did I mention the free trade agreement with China is terrible?”
“And the Royal Commission into trade unions is a waste of public funds?”
“Oh, and if you haven’t done it already, everyone should join the CFMEU.”
“I love you Chloe!!! I promise I’ll see you real soon when all this is over.”
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