Brisbane could explode in a ball of fire if Vladimir Putin and Campbell Newman meet at the G20 summit.
This is the frightening prediction of leading Australian scientist, Dr Howard Flark.
With confirmation that the Russian President will be coming to Brisbane, Dr Flark says it is vital for the continued existence of Brisbane that a meeting with the Queensland Premier does not occur.
“Some people have said Vladimir Putin and Campbell Newman are very alike,” notes Dr Flark.
“Obviously, they are both balding, autocratic political leaders with a strong military background. But I would go one step further.”
“Vladimir Putin and Campbell Newman may actually be part of the same dangerously unstable lifeform.”
If Dr Flark’s theory is correct, any contact between Putin and Newman could have disastrous consequences.
“It’s like if Doctor Who ever met himself during his time travels.”
“The worst case scenario is that the universe will explode in a ball of fire.”
“The best case scenario is that Vladimir Putin will explode with laughter at the sight of a less perfect version of himself.”
As a safety precaution, G20 organisers will set up an exclusion zone around Brisbane’s CBD to prevent Campbell Newman from meeting Putin over the course of the summit.
A G20 public holiday has also been declared for Friday November 14 to stop Mr Newman – or anyone who has had contact with him – from coming into the city.
The Tunnel are satire writers from Brisbane. For more of our stories, click HERE.
You can also subscribe to our blog by email (it’s free!)