The doping scandal engulfing Australian horse racing has spread to Queensland politics.
Electoral Commission Queensland has today confirmed that Premier Campbell Newman has tested positive for elevated levels of cobalt.
Cobalt is a naturally occurring metal found in small traces in horses and politicians.
However, increased levels of cobalt can give these animals greater levels of endurance.
It has long been rumoured that politicians have been taking cobalt to improve their performance on the campaign trail.
Queensland politicians have been tested for performance enhancing drugs since 2013, after a LNP member was caught soaking his penis in a glass of red wine.
Mr Newman’s positive reading is the first under the new drug testing regime.
Premier protests innocence about positive drug test
“This has come as a complete shock to me,” said Mr Newman.
“I have always placed great emphasis on integrity and a drug-free political diet.”
“I can assure Queenslanders the only things I eat are my wife’s cooking and the Labor Party.”
The Premier said he would co-operate fully with the Electoral Commission to clear his name.
But a woman claiming to be the Opposition Leader responded with this zinger.
“Queenslanders have been questioning the mettle of the Premier. Now it’s time to question his metal as well.”
The woman assured journalists that her pun was really funny when written down.
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