Queensland Premier Campbell Newman has appealed to the public for information about the true identity of the Easter Bunny.
Mr Newman said that he was “disturbed and appalled” that large amounts of highly addictive chocolate were being trafficked to Queensland children under the pretence that a rabbit was responsible.
“Someone is egging the homes of Queensland families and using a make-believe animal as a front,” said the Premier. “We need to find these criminals and hold them to account for their actions.”
Mr Newman said he could not exclude the possibility that bikie groups were behind the record levels of chocolate trafficking.
But the Premier warned that the actual truth could be even more shocking.
“A disturbing theory I read on the internet is that doctors are making our kids sick with Easter eggs just to drum up business. If that’s the case, we need to keep these so-called health professionals away from our children forever.”
Mr Newman assured Queenslanders that he would not rest until the people behind the Easter Bunny hoax were put behind bars once and for all.
“Unlike the people in the Labor Party, I know the Easter Bunny isn’t real. If you see anyone hiding Easter eggs this weekend, I urge you to call the Queensland Police – or my electoral office – any time of the day or night.”
A Happy Easter to everyone from The Tunnel!
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