The Queensland government is putting an end to all the rubbish out there.
Premier Campbell Newman has announced that his government’s War on Rubbish will commence with the removal of rubbish bins from Brisbane train stations.
“There’s a lot of rubbish in the public sphere about public transport,” said Mr Newman. “For example, that trains are better for the environment than cars.”
“People need to keep the rubbish about public transport to themselves. That’s why I’m getting rid of rubbish bins at train stations.”
The Premier said that there was also a lot of rubbish about Brisbane not being a major terrorist target.
“Queenslanders have to understand that they could – and probably will – be attacked by a terrorist organisation, such as ISIS or the ALP.”
“That’s why I plan to get rid of every single public rubbish bin by the end of 2015.”
The Premier admitted that getting rid of bins would not guarantee an end to all the rubbish out there.
However, he said the move would be a “powerful symbolic act” and would force Queenslanders to deal with their rubbish themselves.
Mixed response to Campbell Newman rubbish bins plan
The state Opposition has ridiculed Mr Newman’s announcement, saying that Queensland needs more bins to cope with the government’s rubbish, not less.
However, the Prime Minister has congratulated Mr Newman on his rubbish bin eradication initiative.
“This is great leadership by Campbell Newman,” said Tony Abbott. “He has a clear plan to stop the bins and end the waste.”
The Tunnel are satire writers from Queensland. For more of our stories, click HERE.
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