Premier Campbell Newman has promised Queenslanders that his LNP government will make witch hunting a priority when re-elected for a second term.
“At the moment, government resources are focused on dealing with the threat to the community caused by bikies, lawyers, trade unions and people in the arts. Once these pestilences are expunged, my government will obviously turn its attention to all the witches.”
Mr Newman said he only became aware of Queensland’s witch problem after he was elected.
“It’s clear the previous Labor government didn’t do anything about the issue. From what I hear, talk of witch hunts has reached crisis levels.”
The Premier said he planned to establish a special Witch Hunt Unit, which would operate independently of the Queensland Police and the Special Branch (not that the latter organisation existed). The WHU would be funded by cuts to “unnecessary luxuries” such as the Parliamentary Crime & Misconduct Committee and the Queensland Theatre Company.
In the meantime, Mr Newman urged Queenslanders to be vigilant.
“If you see a witch, make sure you tell your state Member of Parliament as soon as possible. We can’t rest until every threat to the good people of Queensland is hunted down, locked up and drowned.”
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