In an effort to tackle the worsening political climate crisis head on, Senator Cory Bernardi has decided to leave the Coalition government and form his own conservative movement.
With his newly-formed Political Climate Change Party, Senator Bernardi plans to clear the air in Australian politics once and for all.
“As a conservative, I want to conserve things.”
“And I’m not just talking about the white Christian way of life. Or jam. I also want to save our precious political environment.”
Senator Bernardi says he has been concerned about the heated atmosphere in the Coalition party room for years.
“It’s just been getting hotter and hotter. But no one’s been willing to do anything about it.”
No time for political climate change denial
Although only a middle-aged white male in a position of political power, Senator Bernardi says he was forced to act after private concerns he expressed to Tony Abbott were leaked to the media.
“I suddenly realised that what the experts have been saying for years was actually true. Tony Abbott, and his kind, will kill us all.”
“I’ve been in denial too long.”
Senator Bernardi hopes that his direct action will inspire the brightest minds in the Coalition government, or George Christensen, to join him in the fight for political climate change.
“One politician may not be able to do much to affect climate change but imagine what a group of politicians can do!”
Mr Bernardi’s decision to form his own party has achieved immediate results, with hot air emissions from the Coalition having already greatly reduced.