A political party committed to passing wind has won the final Senate seat in Western Australia.
After three weeks of vote counting and complex preference distributions, Shannon O’Shannon of the Farty Party has secured the sixth Western Australian Senate seat ahead of candidates from the Palmer United Party and the Australian Sports Party.
ABC election analyst Antony Green said that the Farty Party benefited from a steady leakage of below the line preferences from other micro parties.
“On my calculations, less than 100 people voted for the Farty Party,” said Green, “but they’ve somehow managed to survive every round of counting and secure a Senate quota. It’s extraordinary. My flabber has been brutally gastered.”
Green said that the result reinforces his long-held belief that Senate voting in Australia is in desperate need of reform.
“I don’t think either the Coalition or Labor will be comfortable getting into bed with a group like the Farty Party. Everything the Farty Party released during the election campaign was extremely odious.”
“This result is an absolute stinker and shows that the way we elect people to the Senate needs to be cleaned up. And quickly.”
Western Australian Senator and Minister for Finance Mathias Cormann agrees.
“This is the worst possible result for Australia. The Coalition would have tried to work with the Sports Party. We even would have given the Sex Party a red hot go.”
“But the Farty Party? I know everyone thinks farts are funny but we’re the ones who have to sit in a room with these people.”
“Unless the Farty Party clears the air about what they’re going to do, I think the next three years will be very uncomfortable for a lot of people in Canberra.”
A jubilant Ms O’Shannon said that the Farty Party has done nothing it was ashamed of. She instead accused Senator Cormann of hypocrisy, telling him “if you smelt it, you dealt it.”