Attorney-General George Brandis (seen here explaining how the internet works to a member of Generation Y) has again taken to the airwaves to explain how the Australian government’s proposed metadata storage legislation will work.
After comparing metadata to “what’s written on the outside of an envelope”, Mr Brandis spent most of the morning trying to explain what an envelope was.
In exasperation, the Attorney-General has now changed tack.
“It’s just like being on The Bachelor,” he said in a television interview today.
“Yes, the producers film, store and televise the show but the contestants still have privacy.”
“All The Bachelor televises is the young ladies the bachelor visits, the dates they go on and where and when these dates take place.”
“It also shows us the reactions of the other contestants, short interviews with both the young lady in question and the bachelor himself after the date.”
“And finally the rose ceremony.”
“But,” stressed Mr Brandis, “at no time do we get to see the inner workings of any of the contestants’ minds. We don’t know their inner thoughts.”
“For all we know, the people you see on TV don’t even have inner thoughts.”
“That’s what the Australian government’s metadata plan is like.”
The Tunnel are satire writers from Queensland. For more stories, click HERE.