The United States Treasury has revealed the new face on the ten dollar bill will be a head of kale.
In doing so, the Treasury has backed down from a previous announcement that Alexander Hamilton would be replaced on the American ten dollar bill by a woman.
“Don’t get me wrong,” said Treasury Secretary Jack Lew. “A time will come soon when there is a woman on an American banknote.”
“But before we honour another human being, it’s only right we recognise a vegetable first.”
Mr Lew explained that the decision to put kale on the new ten dollar note was also a strategic move.
“As everyone knows, kale is the most popular alternative currency in the world today. It’s even bigger than bitcoin.”
“In the trendier parts of Brooklyn, the economy is almost entirely based on kale dollars.”
Mr Lew said that putting kale on the new $10 note will make paper money attractive again to young people who predominantly used cards, or kale, to pay for things.
But opponents of kale have attacked the announcement.
“Whether we like it or not – and we don’t – we are being bombarded with kale due to the immense power and wealth of the kale lobby,” said anti-kale advocate Donna Shenton.
“It’s time the world sent a message to Big Kale and to those in power – NO MORE KALE!”
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