The Australian government has sought to defuse the Indonesia spying scandal by revealing it has been listening to telephone conversations between President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono, and his wife, Kristiani Herawati, in the interests of fashion diplomacy.
An official from the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade said that something needed to be done to avoid the endless fashion disasters occurring every time the leaders of Australia and Indonesia meet.
“In recent years, there has been a litany of embarrassing fashion fails at meetings between the country’s leaders. Particularly APEC. An inability to cooperate on sartorial matters has resulted in the unfortunate and ultimate style crime of World Leaders Being Seen in the Same Outfit at an Important Function.”
“Listening to the private conversations between the Indonesian president and his wife is just the first step towards fashion intelligence gathering and preventing the awkward and damaging faux pas that have dogged the political world in South East Asia until now. Everybody knows that men get their fashion advice from their wives, right? Right!”
According to the DFAT official, the intercepted phone calls have also allowed the country’s leaders to bond by making them able to bitch about their wives’ annoying habits.
“President Yudhoyono was very impressed that Prime Minister Abbott knew all about Mrs Herawati’s fetish for rainwear. And President Yudhoyono’s intimate knowledge of Mrs Abbott’s tinea really brought the two men – and their countries – closer together.”
The Indonesian President’s office has not provided an official response to the Australian government’s explanation. However sources say that Mrs Herawati has indicated that batik is “so last year” and that Spring/Summer 2013 is all about the poncho.
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