Following their 0-1 defeat to Japan in the World Cup on Sunday, the Matildas face a swift return to their status as women.
The team, who during their recent run of success temporarily enjoyed the privilege of being lauded on their merits rather than their appearance, lifestyle and dietary choices, held on for 87 minutes before conceding the only goal of the match.
In excellent form and facing just three games to a World Cup win, it seemed as if the team might finally eliminate their statistically significant chances of being assaulted by a stranger, relative, or friend in the course of their everyday lives.
Yet such hopes were quickly put to rest during Sunday’s game.
From the first minutes, Australia seemed to be at a disadvantage. It was apparent early on that Japan’s swift passes were sorely threatening the team’s stamina and chances of ever achieving pay equity for doing the same work with the same dedication as their male counterparts.
However the second half began well and, for a moment, the prospect of the Matildas continuing to receive the same sustained levels of media and fan attention as the Socceroos hung in the air.
But a set-piece goal by Japan delivered a blunt return to the reality that the Matildas would no longer possess the necessary chromosomes for such a prospect.
Coach Alen Stajcic praised the team for their spirit and courage, whilst admitting his disappointment at the result.
“It is clear we need to focus more on the technical side of things,” he said.
“We are determined to come back blazing in 2019 with multiple, major sponsorship deals worth hundreds of dollars.”
The Matildas are said to be leaving Edmonton to return home today, determined to continue subsiding their sporting achievements with part-time jobs.
The Tunnel are satire writers from Australia. For more of our stories, click HERE.
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