Channel 10 has reached into its pants and pulled out a new version of the classic game show, Family Feud.
Hosted by TV’s shortest big feller, Grant Denyer, the new Family Feud once again has two Aussie families using their wits (and half-wits) to guess the most popular responses from a survey of 100 people.
But reviving an old game show isn’t enough in 2014. There’s got to be a twist.
And so the new Family Feud is just a little bit rude.
So naughty, in fact, that Channel 10’s Family Feud is more like its 1970s predecessor Blankety Blanks.
Remember Blankety Blanks? The game show where Graham Kennedy would smirk across his microphone and ask: “The vicar asked the choirboy to have a look at his… blank.”
So now, rather than answering traditional Family Feud questions like “Name an animal you might see on a farm”, Grant Denyer is dishing up questions like this:
“Name a part of the body people like to have rubbed?”
“Name something couples don’t do as much of after they get married.”
The nudge-nudge wink-wink factor is then upped by saucy, remote control clickbait promos where the voiceover leers: “You won’t believe what she says next!!!”
(And all credit to the contestant who said people like to have their “willy” rubbed. The fact that no one taking the survey said “willy” only goes to show what a tease the new Family Feud really is.)
“We surveyed 100 people – including some idiots”
Speaking of survey answers, gone are the days of Tony Barber and Rob Brough era quality control.
Back in the day, a survey response needed at least four people to say it for it to get on the Family Feud board.
This spared contestants – and those of us watching at home – from having to guess what an idiot, or someone with a malicious streak, wrote on their survey.
But now, you just need two surveyees to answer “celery” to the question “Name something a woman might like to give me after the show?” for it to appear on the board and stump the entire country.
Channel 10 Family Feud spoiler alert!
So that’s what’s happened so far. What’s coming up on the new Family Feud?
For those of you who can’t sit through half an hour of Grant Denyer but want to know what a survey of 100 people thinks, here’s a preview of some of our favourite Family Feud moments.
“Name something long and hard I’d like to put in your mouth?”
Top answer: Microphone
“Name a famous Australian judge.”
Top answer: Matt Preston
“Name something that hurts you but people secretly like.”
Top answer: Tony Abbott
“Name something that disappoints you every night?”
Top answer: Family Feud
5 weeks later – A Family Feud footnote by the Tunnel’s Ed
It’s been five weeks since this piece was originally published.
And for five weeks, I’ve watched every single episode of Family Feud, with two children under eight. (And yes, I can confirm that children under eight think the new Family Feud is fabulous.)
In fairness to everyone involved with the new Family Feud, the show has improved a lot since the first couple of weeks.
The lame, smutty questions are gone.
The in-show advertising has become so familiar that it’s invisible.
Best of all, the contestants are getting a true chance to shine:
“Name an Australian city starting with B.”
And Grant Denyer, God bless him, is proving to be a quick-witted and personable host.
Heck, when Grant has his arm around a contestant’s shoulder at the end of the show and he throws to the board for the final answer in Fast Money and the board goes ding-ding-ding and the family wins $10,000, I even feel a tear welling in my eye.
How can this possibly be???
Well, we surveyed 100 people…
The Tunnel are satire writers from Queensland. For more stories, click HERE.