Prime Minister Kevin Rudd has cleared the air about his supposed love of German theologian, Dietrich Bonhoeffer.
Following Rudd’s announcement of his hardline plan to rid Australia of traditional Labor voters, critics have suggested that the policy is at odds with Bonhoeffer’s Christian commitment to humanity and justice.
“I want to make this perfectly clear,” said Rudd, “I’ve never lived my life by the principles of some German bloke called Bonhoeffer. My hero has always been Bon Hoffa, the Aussie racehorse.”
Rudd said that his love affair with Bon Hoffa began in the spring of 2007.
“When Bon Hoffa was winning races in 2007, I realised how much he and I were alike. We were both from the country, we were both unfashionable and we were both animals that were determined to win at all costs.”
“I remember when Bon Hoffa won the Group 1 Rupert Clarke in 2007. I said to myself: ‘Kev, if that bloke can beat the big boys, so can you.’ And sure enough, I won the Federal election that November. That’s why I have always said I’m inspired by Bon Hoffa.”
Rudd said that the widely-held belief that he was inspired by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a pastor and writer who died in a Nazi concentration camp during World War II, was a cack.
“Fair shake of the sauce bottle. My government puts people in camps! Why would I give a toss about someone like him?”