The text messages behind Peter Slipper and Clive Palmer’s party dalliance

A series of text messages between Peter Slipper and Clive Palmer have revealed the behind-the-scenes story of the independent MP’s one night membership of the Palmer United Party.

Slipper: hey big fella. wassup wit u?

Palmer: very busy. i am organising a party

Slipper: cool! im not doing anything tonight. can i come?

Palmer: pete mate. it is a serious party. you wouldnt fit in

Slipper: clivester! i am a serious party guy. are there young people?

Palmer: of course. my party is for everybody. except maybe you

Slipper: i want in, big fella. what do i need 2 do?

Palmer: let me think about it. i can put your name down for the party if you like

Slipper: mate that would be amazing!!! ill get some piss and be right over

Palmer: pete i think you misunderstand me. its not that sort of party

Slipper: relax my friend! moderation is my middle name. hope u dont mind but i let the press know im going 2 be at yr party

Palmer: THE PRESS!!! pete i think we just hit an iceberg

Slipper: sorry mate. didnt realise it was meant to be a secret

Palmer: pete ive had a chat with the guys here and weve decided your membership of the party is ceased forthwith

Slipper: thats a bummer. cant u least wait til i get there? 🙁

Palmer: mate maybe another time. theres a lot of politics involved. you understand surely?

Slipper: totes. dont worry jabba. ill find something else. the night is young and so am i!!! xx

---

The Tunnel are satire writers from Australia. For more of our stories, click HERE.

You can also subscribe to our blog by email (it’s free!)