Rudd announces hardline plan to exclude Labor voters from Australia

Prime Minister Kevin Rudd has announced a hardline plan to exclude traditional Labor voters from Australia.

Under the scheme, the Labor government will adopt as many Coalition policies as possible before the next Federal Election.

“Anyone who has been following the mainstream media in recent weeks will have been alarmed by the increasing numbers of people seeking to come to Labor,” said Rudd. “Enough is enough. Under my plan, everyone will have to vote for Coalition policies, whether they want to or not.”

Rudd said that he hoped that the scheme would, in particular, deter young Labor voters – or so-called “breeders” – from trying to make a home in Australia. The Rudd government has already been in discussions with other countries, such as Papua New Guinea, which have expressed a willingness to take people who are excluded from Australia.

Rudd made no apologies for his hardline approach.

“What we’re seeking to do through these arrangements is send a message to people around the world that Australia is no different from anywhere else. If you jump on a bandwagon and expect a compassionate society to welcome you with open arms, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.”