In our exclusive Rupert Murdoch interview, the media mogul discusses quality journalism and the imminent (but necessary) deaths of those who stand in its way.
|TUNNEL:||There’s been a lot of negative press about your company, News Corporation, lately, which is ironic really.|
|RM:||Why is it ironic?|
|TUNNEL:||Because, you know … you own… lots of print media …|
|RM:||That is not irony.|
|TUNNEL:||Right, um… still you must be upset about the controversy News Corporation has become embroiled in.|
|RM:||There is no controversy. Surely if there was it would have been relentlessly pursued by The Australian? Or the Courier Mail, or the Daily Telegraph, the Sunday Telegraph, the Herald Sun, the Sunday Herald Sun, the Sunday Times, the Mercury, the Sunday Mail, the Advertiser, the Northern Territory News, the Fox Network or Sky TV.|
|TUNNEL:||But still …|
|RM:||It is just a few bad apples that threaten to ruin the barrel.
The rest of News Corporation is dedicated to quality journalism and is unbiased. These events are distracting us from dealing with the serious issues, like Julia Gillard’s child killing carbon tax or the fact that Barack Obama’s black.
|TUNNEL:||But these actions took place on your watch.|
|RM:||Don’t be ridiculous – my watch is tiny. But look, we are taking stern action. Earlier this month I closed down The News of the World. I was forced to make this decision because the publication had become poisoned. I am of course sorry for the loyal readers and staff of the paper but stern action was necessary.|
|TUNNEL:||What about Rebekah Brooks, former editor-in-chief of News of the World?|
|RM:||I have also moved to close down Rebekah Brooks, because she has become poisoned. Unfortunately this Sunday will be her last edition. I am of course sorry for her loyal family and friends but stern action was again necessary.|
|TUNNEL:||You’re having her killed?|
|RM:||Look, I’m really sorry that this happened. This is the most humble day of my life – I’m not some heartless villain. I’m normal. I like normal things. Going for long walks on the beach, playing God with world leaders – sorry – golf with world leaders, conducting regime change.
Sorry you’re time’s up.
|TUNNEL:||No, we’ve still got plenty of …|
|RM:||No, unfortunately your time is up.|
(In unrelated news, an anonymous Tunnel blogger was today found dead in her London apartment.)
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