Superannuation Minister Bill Shorten has quashed fears about the Federal government’s superannuation reforms by explaining that the new laws will be linked to the performance of the Australian cricket team.
“My message to older Australians is: DON’T PANIC!!!” says Mr Shorten.
“The government will introduce its superannuation reforms gradually. To ensure that no one is disadvantaged, our reforms will come into effect when Australia next wins a test cricket match.”
“In addition, any tax increases will be in line with the modest annual increases in Ed Cowan’s batting average.”
Opposition Leader Tony Abbott welcomed the delayed introduction of the new laws but attacked the use of Ed Cowan as a benchmark.
“As any cricket fan will tell you, Cowan’s average is slowly but surely increasing over time.”
“If this government was fair dinkum about protecting the retirement income of hard-working Australians, it would have used Shane Watson as the basis for any future tax increases.”