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Tagged: health

WHO warns Tony Abbott causes cancer

  • by The Tunnel

The World Health Organisation has warned that Tony Abbott causes cancer. The announcement comes after a group of Europeans were found consuming unhealthy doses of Tony Abbott at a banquet in London this week. “Our research shows Australians feel much better now that Tony Abbott…

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Expert insists raw onion paleo diet is completely safe

  • by The Tunnel

A leading health expert has ridiculed suggestions a raw onion paleo diet is unsafe for babies or anyone else. In recent weeks Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott has been championing the controversial diet, biting into raw onions whenever he can. According to Professor of Dietetics,…

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Concerned parents fear Ebola outbreak in Brisbane

  • by The Tunnel

Brisbane parents are withdrawing their children from school after hundreds of suspected cases of Ebola have been reported. According to social media, large numbers of children are calling in sick to Brisbane schools each day with symptoms of nausea, fever and headaches. The classic early…

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Australia to fight outbreak of perspective

  • by The Tunnel

The Australian government has promised to do everything in its power to fight the frightening outbreak of perspective that threatens to infect the country. Prime Minister Tony Abbott said that television images of terrifying events overseas are a timely reminder to the public that things…

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