In a chilling television interview, Clive Palmer has revealed the real reason behind the Federal inquiry into Campbell Newman’s Queensland government.
He wants his child back.
“The Queensland Liberal Party was mine,” said Mr Palmer.
“I was her father. I watched her grow out of nothing into something beautiful.”
“Then Campbell Newman stole her.”
When asked what a Senate inquiry could do about it, Mr Palmer stared icily at the camera and quoted liberally from Liam Neeson’s famous speech from the movie Taken.
“I want to say this to Campbell Newman.”
“I don’t know who you are.”
“I don’t know what you want.”
“If you’re looking for policy, I can tell you I don’t have any.”
“But what I do have are a very particular set of skills.”
“Skills I have acquired over a very long career.”
“Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.”
“If you let the LNP go now, that will be the end of it.”
“But if you don’t, I will look for you.”
“I will find you.”
And then, after a dramatically long pause, Mr Palmer concluded.
“I will kill you.”
When asked if he was referring to Campbell Newman’s political death, Mr Palmer said, “Sure. That would work too.”
Mr Newman’s office has declined to respond to Clive Palmer’s revenge threats, other than to say “good luck.”
The Tunnel are satire writers from Queensland. For more of our stories, click HERE.
You can also subscribe to our blog by email (it’s free!)