Rugby league bad boy Todd Carney has been sacked by NRL club Cronulla after a photo emerged on social media that appeared to show the star playmaker urinating into his own mouth.
But the troubled footballer has been given something new to aim for after being thrown a lifeline by boutique Australian satire website, The Tunnel.
The Tunnel has offered Carney a four year contract for an undisclosed sum.
“At the Tunnel, it’s our job to take the piss,” said the satire website’s Disgraced Celebrity Recruitment Manager.
“Carney is just a natural fit for us and we look forward to tapping into his creative stream for many days into the future.”
Todd Carney satire golden boy
A number of Australian satire and comedy websites waged a bidding war to secure Carney’s services.
“Every time he goes drinking, it’s comedy gold,” said the editor of one high profile satire blog.
“We need talent like Carney,” agreed another. “Todd Carney is the Clive Palmer of Australian sport. People like that just don’t come along every day.”
The Tunnel’s employment contract is not without conditions, however.
“Carney is coming from Cronulla. And we all know Cronulla are a bunch of drug cheats. Allegedly, of course.”
“There’s no place for drug cheats in satire. Fortunately Todd agrees with us and he has enthusiastically agreed to undergo regular urine tests.”
“He’s even offered to test the wee himself.”
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