In a reckless piece of bravado, Tony Abbott has told Coalition colleagues he will step down as Prime Minister if Guy Sebastian wins this year’s Eurovision Song Contest.
Mr Abbott made the shock announcement after leadership aspirant Malcolm Turnbull told the party room that funds spent to secure Australia’s controversial inclusion at Eurovision were money well spent.
When Mr Turnbull added that he was quietly confident Sebastian could win this year’s title, a mocking Mr Abbott pledged to stand down if this happened.
“It’s another alarming piece of judgement from the Prime Minister,” says an unnamed Eurovision-loving Cabinet member.
“Tony’s a huge Shannon Noll fan and he’s never got over the fact that Guy Sebastian won Australian Idol fair and square.”
“Being a Guy denier has blinded the Prime Minister into making a rash call that could end his career.”
PM’s call could trigger Guy Sebastian Eurovision win
Election analyst Antony Green, who is in Vienna covering the Eurovision Song Contest exclusively for The Tunnel, says Mr Abbott’s announcement could be the final push that guarantees a Guy Sebastian victory.
“On my computer’s projections, Guy Sebastian already had a great chance of winning Eurovision for Australia.”
“But once you factor in all the people in the world who will now vote for Guy so that Tony Abbott stands down, it could be a landslide.”
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The Tunnel are satire writers from Australia. For more of our stories, click HERE.
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