Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott will reveal in a television interview with Sir Michael Parkinson that he is not gay.
With swimming legend Ian Thorpe about to open up with Parkinson about his sexuality, Mr Abbott says it is time for other prominent Australians to also set the record straight.
“I realise a lot of gay men are married and have kids,” Mr Abbott says in the interview.
“I also realise a lot of gay men make derogatory comments about homosexuals. To try and throw off the scent, if you will.”
“I’m sure there are people out there who wonder if I’m actually as manly and virile as I appear.”
“But, take it from me, Michael. I mean, er… believe me, Parky. I want to make this clear once and for all.”
“I’m definitely NOT gay.”
After stifling back tears, the Prime Minister gives an emotional wink to his family and to a group of former girlfriends and bedmates in the audience.
“No offence to homosexuals like Ian Thorpe,” says Mr Abbott. “But he and I are nothing alike.”
“Except we’re both really good swimmers, of course.”
Some issues still off limits
Despite his forthright confession about his sexual preference, Mr Abbott proves less willing to discuss the plight of people seeking asylum in Australia.
“I think, Michael, that… What I’m saying is… I think that a public figure’s sexuality is more important to ordinary Australians than whether some people from overseas may or may not be refugees.”
“Look, I hope that answers your question.”
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