First it was Jarryd Hayne. Now Tony Abbott is set to conquer America.
Responding to questions about his political future, Mr Abbott has revealed that Jarryd Hayne’s NFL feats have inspired him to run for President of the United States of America in 2016.
“It sounds like a fairytale,” said Mr Abbott. “But Jarryd has shown us that dreams can come true.”
Mr Abbott insists that he’s got what it takes to be a success in the USA.
“Sure it’s a different running style but I think my skills are transferable.”
“Australian and American politics are very similar games in essence.”
“You go to lots of fundraisers, authorise bombing in the Middle East and blame the migrants.”
Mr Abbott is confident he will make the Republican Party’s final 53 member roster for the 2016 Presidential primaries.
Australians have already got behind the Tony Abbott US President campaign, with thousands on social media urging him to leave the country as soon as possible.
The Tunnel are satire writers from Queensland, Australia.