Townsville authorities have agreed to permanently rename the city if the North Queensland Cowboys win this weekend’s NRL Grand Final.
If – or indeed when – the Cowboys defeat the Brisbane Broncos on Sunday night, Townsville will officially become Cowbsville.
“It’s what everyone here wants,” says Townsville Mayor Jenny Hill.
“Townsville has always been a rugby league city and it’s about time it had a rugby league name.”
Local newspaper the Townsville Bulletin – which has stopped covering non-Cowboys news during the team’s semi-final run – has pushed strongly for the name change.
“If a small town like Bowen can stand as a tribute to Cowboys legend Matty Bowen then a bustling city like Townsville can be named after the whole damn best rugby league team in the world,” declaimed a recent editorial.
A recent Bulletin poll revealed that 92% of Townsville residents supported the name change.
The move would not be the first time Townsville has paid tribute to the extraordinary exploits of its rugby league heroes.
In 2013 the local university awarded Cowboys halfback Johnathan Thurston an honorary doctorate for his mad physics skills with a rugby league ball.
But Mayor Hill believes more can still be done.
“I’ve been petitioning the Queensland government for years to have the Brisbane suburb of Herston renamed Thurston.”
“You’d think eight State of Origin wins in a row would be enough to convince the people down south that he is the greatest ever Queenslander.”
“Maybe when Johnathan guides the Cowboys to a premiership, Brisbane people will finally come to the party and start renaming their city too.”
The Tunnel are satire writers from Queensland.