The World Health Organisation has warned that Tony Abbott causes cancer.
The announcement comes after a group of Europeans were found consuming unhealthy doses of Tony Abbott at a banquet in London this week.
“Our research shows Australians feel much better now that Tony Abbott is not Prime Minister any more,” said a WHO official.
“This ties in with previous anecdotal evidence that Tony Abbott makes you sick and is probably some sort of cancer.”
The WHO praised Australia for cutting its intake of Tony Abbott but expressed concern that the consumption of Tony Abbott was now increasing in other countries.
“There are no safe or sensible levels of Tony Abbott,” warned the WHO official.
“Tony Abbott is a threat to your health and far more dangerous than bacon.”
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